It’s no fun getting old. I can’t jump as high as I used to, I can’t smell or taste things properly and my joints are definitely getting stiff. Just watching a kitten bouncing around its outdoor cat enclosure is enough to make me feel tired. Yeah, age is starting to takes its toll on this old Tom.

Now that I’ve reached a ripe 10 years old, keeping my figure is proving more and more difficult. My servants have changed my diet without any kind of discussion, like the uncivilised brutes that they clearly are. I was outraged at first by their insubordination (and still am), but I appreciate the increase in ‘protein’ and decrease in ‘carbohydrates’ - this is their explanation, as I overheard it. All I can say is the taste is to dine for. Ha!

My owners noticed that I have started to look cuddlier than usual and, glancing into the reflecting wall, I realised those fools were right.  Had they not changed my diet, I could have ended up struggling with obesity and I’ve heard - from those idiot humans - ‘that can lead to heart, respiratory, skin and joint problems, bladder stones or arthritis.’ Perish the thought! I would add that this softened food is quite pleasant on my sore mouth. I will have to request additional fang-brushings from my staff.

Thankfully, their mutiny has not gotten out-of-control: they’ve kept my feeding routine the same. Dinner is still served at perfect room temperature, in a clean bowl and in the same place. Were it not for the different taste I would not suspect a thing.

Sometimes they add a bit of juice from a sardine can to my meal and on those days I rejoice. There is pleasure in this world after all! Apparently there’s some benefit to making sure that I get more ‘omega-3’. I have absolutely no idea what that is - but though it sounds fishy, when I smell it I know I’m in for a treat.

While I was struggling to keep the weight off, the cat next door (that saucy lynx) was struggling to put it on. I was a bit worried about her at first. I thought it could mean ‘kidney failure, cancer, diabetes mellitus, inflammatory bowel disease, liver disease, hyperthyroidism, or worse.’ The dangers we felines face! Thankfully the cause was merely a sore tooth - clearly her staff were feeling similarly rebellious and did not conduct their daily fang-care.

We’re not as young as we used to be but we’re both getting the right antioxidants, minerals and the right amount of vitamin E - whatever those are, they sound important!

We more mature cats are very different to kittens but we’re just as loving and affectionate - provided you treat us with due respect, human. Read more about how to look after your feline elders here.